Monday, March 10, 2008

Tone Deaf and Jazz Ignorant

It's nine in the morning here and I'm blogging again. I've been to wikipedia and back and discovered I'm jazz ignorant. So jazz was brought to America by the African slaves and these were blues notes by black people. Can this be that after so much jazz they will end up black and blue?

This is one of the realities of being deaf. Most deaf can't sing or dance as most of us are tone-deaf also. During my early teen years I really loved to sing. But whenever I get carried away with my singing, mum would complain and would tell me to just keep my singing to myself as I'm very disintonado, she would say. I didn't know I was tone deaf then. It was only lately that I came to realize why I can't sing any of the notes my music teacher would blow on her pitch pipe. All the tones sounded the same to me.

All the music I knew during my lifetime had to do with the lyrics and not the tune or sound. If the song had good lyrics, it's a good song to me. If it has lousy lyrics like Torn Between Two Lovers or Release Me, these songs I consider junk. I think most of our songs today are the expression of our dysfuntional humanity. Umm... what?

Anyways, at least I was able to sing lullabyes to my kids when they were babies. And not just the standard nursery rhymes, ok. I know the poem Flow Gently Sweet Afton set to music and I used to sing this song to my kids. Softly, as I always remember mum's stern words that I better keep mys singing to myself.

Flow gently sweet Afton among thy green braes
flow gently I'll sing thee a song in thy praise
My Mary's asleep by thy murmuring stream
Flow gently sweet Afton, disturb not her dream.

Another song I specially liked was Steal Away to Jesus, a song sung by (again) the Negro slaves during the time they were stealing away from their white masters. Made me think the blacks were really musical people.

Steal away, steal away, steal away to Jesus
Steal away, steal away home
I ain't got long to stay here

My Lord He calls me, He calls me by the thunder
The trumpet sounds within a- my soul
I ain't got long to stay here

Green trees are bending
Po' sinners stand a-trembling
The trumpet sounds within- a my soul
I ain't got long to stay here.


Hmmm




I think DeafRead is snobbing my request that they pick a blogpost of me to feature in their site. Perhaps they think my blog is not about about deafness at all. It's more about the Lord, really.


A few days ago my eldest sis shared with me half of the half kilo bag of Starbucks coffee a nice friend gave her. My sis knew I love Starbucks very much. And to think that a few years ago we nearly gave up on coffee after reading what the Diamonds had to say about it in Fit for Life. They attacked coffe as if it was arsenic. I think I stopped drinking coffee for a good two years. But lately it's a bit cold out here so it's good to have coffee in the morning or in the afternoon to get rid of the headache or drowsiness I always feel.






This week I'm trying to read Derek Prince's God's Will for Your Life, re-reading Carson McCullers The Heart is a Lonely Hunter and A Christmas Carol all at the same time. The Christmas I'm re-reading so that I can comment on adaptation for a play my friend is writing. I'm very excited about it as I believe he can be a good writer also aside from being a good actor already. A Christmas Carol has a universal message but I think we should be very specific about it, that Christmas is somebody's birthday really and that birthday boy was Jesus in reality.



The Heart is a Lonely Hunter is a book I read during my early twenty's and the characters most memorable to me were the deaf mutes- one was an obese Greek who had nephrosis and the other a silverware engraver. I also remember the character Mick a pre-teen girl who loved Mozart. I have read a biography of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart but I have not heard any of his music as I am deaf, ok, and I choose to listen only to the basic sounds for my survival. Music would be a luxury to me. My friend loved jazz but I have no idea what jazz is really. I hope I can know as I think it's some kind of cultural class I should have knowledge of.



Derek Prince's booklet titled God's will for Your Life is a very clear presentation of God's direction for the Christian's life based on what the bible says about it. Derek said that there is nothing more tragic in a human life than aimlessness. He said we may have talent, intelligence and special abilities but without an objective our life will end in frustration because we will have accomplished very little of permanent value. Then he gave the bible reference to explain his point.



Therefore, since we are sorrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perserverance the race marked for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.


Hebrews 12:1-2



And speaking of running a race, I remembered Forrest Gump as aside from the three books I'm reading I'm also watching a collection of Tom Hanks movies! That's what the Americans call multitasking I think. Even when I saw my friend's photos as a young man I thought his hair was like Tom's curly and nice.



Anyways, the real reason for my blogging tonight was I kind of want to find an outlet for the many pent up feelings I've been having the past weeks. But I'm hesitant to expose myself here as I kind of believe I should be a mature, responsible, and strong person. And I also think I should not burden anybody with my own burdens as anybody is just as human as myself. And besides people especially those not in the counselling business have no patience listening to angsts and anguish whatever. It really unwise to expect from another human being the compassion only God can give. I might as well go directly to God then. And I hope I can have an honest, down to earth speaking to God about the concerns of my heart and soul. If after our conversation I will come up with something nice to post again they post I will. Meanwhile I think I have to quit now as its's late already.