Sunday, April 4, 2010


Chrysanthemums from Baguio

my neighbor's Cactus flower

flower among the grass

Zinia I think

Pastor Mon's Gumamela

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Grand Interferer

I have known people close to God who has their own nickname or terms of endearment for him. Some call him My Lord, others Abba Father and some Papa God. Imagine my amusement when I read the author of The Shack book call God The Grand Interferer. All morning while contemplating what to post in my blog, I was imagining scenes in my mind – If I get the opportunity to meet with God and tell Him some people are calling him The Grand Interferer, I think he will laugh and give me a hi-five.

Early in my life I used to get very fed up with God because he always interfered with my life. He interfered in the choices I made; he interfered with my every day life, my behaviour, my thoughts, my words, my feelings and everything to the point that I can’t enjoy life itself anymore. So one day I decided I had enough of the interfering and I put God inside a box along with my Bible and other books, tied the box tightly with a cord and hid the box in a cabinet under my study table. For a time life became a bit comfortable without him interfering but later on I developed guilt feelings that made me helpless and miserable. It was like the song “Impossible to live with you but I know I can never live without you…” Haruuump!

I often read from my books on God that God wants a relationship with us, not a religion. But my problem is how can I relate to a God I don’t really know personally. I sincerely wish to have a deep relationship with him like the relationship my other sisters had with him. My others sisters knew how to talk to God personally, they knew how to trust him. They were very comfortable with him around and they never think he’s in any way interfering with their life. In my case, I think God is a very hard to please person. I feel he is always and ever displeased with me, that I need to perform well, give my very best to him, if not then I’m a failure.
Until I read The Shack book. Perhaps it was in the way the book was written, or perhaps God’s own sweet time for me to understand these things has at last come, or maybe there’s really a fresh message from God to his people that I came to fully grasp the mystery of a relationship with God. My eyes were opened when the book explained that – TRUST is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved. For now, God just wants us to discover that our relationship is not about performance or us having to please him. God is not a bully, not some self-centered, demanding little deity insisting on his own way. God is good and he desires only what is good for us. We cannot find that thru guilt or condemnation or coercion – only thru a relationship of love. And God do loves us.

I discovered my notion of God as someone always interfering with my life was a result of my desire to be independent – to do life my way. But God will have none of it as he says - Inherently I am the pinnacle of his creation and the center of his affection. It is simply foolish to try to live apart from God ain’t it ?!

Also from The Shack book I read this as if God was speaking to me:

All I want from you is to trust me with what little you can, and grow in loving people around you with the same love I share with you.”
Now I can sit back and relax, bask in the sunshine of his love, depending on him on a daily basis, letting him do what’s on his mind for me just for today. He’s not in anyway interfering, ok?

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Digitally Bionic

My new hearing aid is BTE as my hearing loss is severe to profound already. I needed a powerful aid which is not available in ITE models. I wanted grey or blue color but there's none available. My son thinks the color flesh is so uncool. I promised him a magenta next time around.

Last week I bought me a new hearing aid. It's Phonak from Switzerland. It's my fourth hearing aid since I was twenty-two. Now I'm digitally bionic again. cheers!

The past days I was busy recognizing the new sounds my aid gathers around me. I specialy liked the bird music I hear in the morning when I turn on my aid. I also liked the resurected sounds of my footsteps. But not all sounds are pleasant to hear. Although I avoid using the word hate, that is the only word to describe my reaction against the sound of automobiles and electrical appliances. They're so annoying and even competes with the tinnitus already buzzing inside my ear. Oh well, the audiometrist who fitted me with the Phonak aid said I should have realistic expectations and that learning to use my aid to my greatest advantage will take time. I'm being realistic and patient, ok? At least I can hear and understand speech again. I was surprised to hear my sister's voice again after a long time and I think her voice has matured. My son's voice was good to hear again and I felt like hugging him tight like I missed him terribly. My daughter who had become an expert in lip speaking seem to have forgotten to speak to me in the normal way. I kept telling her to speak up, put voice to her speech. All in all this is a hapy experience I want to document in my blog, thank you.

Anyways, last week when my sister Teresa accompanied me to my audiologist she lent me a book titled The Shack. It is a very controversial book as it contained very radical ideas about God and religion. I have finished reading the book but I'm re-reading it again and I'm taking notes. I'm very excited about this book and will write a long blog post entirely about it soon. For starters, I want to tell you that I'm very happy these days after many years of nursing a 'Certain Sadness' in my heart. The happiness is not the flimsy, human kind of happiness. It is strong and enduring.

Friday, January 9, 2009


When assailed by physical sickness or infirmity

Jesus Himself bore my sins in His own body on the tree, that I having died to sins, might live for righteousness – by whose wounds I was healed.
See I Peter 2:24

I have also prepared the following special proclamation, which combines truths from different Scriptures and which has helped Christians in many areas of the world:

My body is a temple for the Holy Spirit, redeemed, cleansed and sanctified by the blood of Jesus. My members – the parts of my body are instruments of righteousness, presented to God for His service and for His glory. The devil has no place in me, no power over me, no unsettled claims against me. All has been settled by the blood of Jesus.
I overcome Satan by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of my testimony, and I do not love my life to the death. My body is for the Lord, and the Lord is for my body.

Based on:

I Corinthians 6:19;
Ephesians 1:7; John 1:7;
Hebrews 13:12; Romans 6:13; 8:33-34
Revelation 12:11; I Corinthians 6:13

Someone might ask: Is it honest for me to make proclamations such as these, when I see in my body the physical evidences of sickness, or when I feel in my soul the oppositions of sin? The answer depends on your point of view. If you are looking at yourself in your own natural condition, then it is not honest. But if you are looking at yourself as God sees you in Christ, then you have the right to make such a proclamation.

Once we have repented of our sins and committed ourselves to Christ, God no longer looks at us as we are in our natural state. Instead, He looks at us from the perspective of the exchange that took place on the cross. Spiritually, He sees us as made righteous; physically He sees us as made whole.

It is significant, that in the Scriptures, the healing provided through the sacrifice of Jesus is never spoken of in the future tense. In Isaiah 53:5, written more than seven hundred years before the death of Jesus, healing is already presented as an accomplished fact. “By His wounds we are healed”. In the New Testament, in I Peter 2:24, the apostles refer to Isaiah 53:5, but uses the past tense. “By whose stripes you were healed”.

When the words we speak about ourselves agree with what God says about us in Christ, then we open the way for Him to make us in actual experience all that He says we are. But if we fail to make the appropriate confession – or proclamation – about ourselves, we are confined to the prison of our own natural state. We have shut ourselves off from the supernatural, transforming grace of God, which works only thru faith.

Again, someone might ask: What about someone who says and does all the right things, and yet the promised results do not follow? An answer is to be found in the words of Moses in Deuteronomy 29:29 “The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but those things which are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.”

The reason some people do not receive some part of the promised blessings often belongs in the category of “secret things”. It is vain for us to seek to pry God’s secrets from Him. It is also irreverent. If God withholds an answer, it is more important to trust than to understand.

On the other hand, the words of Moses reminds us of our responsibility, as God’s people, to believe, to proclaim and to act upon those things He has clearly revealed in His Word. Central to this is the provision God made for us though the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. We must not let our concern about the secret things keep us from believing and obeying things which are revealed.

from Blessing or Curse by Rev. Derek Prince

According to the Scriptures, God has put repented sins behind Him and never looks at them. They are far from Him as the East is from the West. If you keep coming back and asking for forgiveness, He really doesn't know what you are talking about. Repentance. The washing of the blood. Forgiveness. A clean slate. It never happened.

from The Annointing by Rev. Benny Hinn

I consider Rev. Derek Prince's Blessing or Curse and Rev. Benny Hinn's The Annointing as the two most important books I've read in 2008. I recommend that you read them,too.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Notebook and Pens

I recieved a notebook as a New Year gift from my eldest sis Teresa. It has thick cover, with big spirals and came with two stylus fine point pens, one with black and the other with blue astroglide ink or so the label climed. I wish I could show it off here but I forgot my usb cord in NZ so I cant transfer pics from my camera into my pc. Dang dang.

The peculiar thing with me is that I treasure a gift like notebook and pen better than jewelry or clothes. And this morning I began writing my new year notes on them crisp, smelling new pages of my new notebook. I copied Romans 5:3-5 on to it. The verse is about rejoicing in suffering, which produces perseverance then character, then hope. I also reflected on God's faithfulness which is new every morning, new every New year.

Anyways, my new year's resolutions are:

1. dont be lazy, be productive, persevere

2. be frugal, be focused, take life seriously but smile

3. go back to fish, veg, and brown rice diet

4. give up coffee as soon as possible

5. trust the Lord

By the way, I also recieved a Christmas gift from my other sis Luisa. It's a diary this time but I had to leave it behind in NZ as it's a bit heavy it has to be shipped later along with my other things in a balikbayan box. So there, year 2009 will be a year of writing on my notebook, diary, and my pc. Yay!

Monday, December 22, 2008

NZ Pics

My flight back to the Philippines is on the 27th, Saturday. I have some nice pics I can't wait to upload so I will try to upload and I hope this task will not take me forever.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Hannah's birthday dress

Hannah and her friends Esther and Darlene

Hannah turned eighteen last November 2 and this is the birthday dress I made for her. She chose the design and fabric which is linen ramie. In the Philippines the fabric is called 'gusot mayaman' meaning the crumpled look of the rich. :)